Welcome to what club?

So for the longest time I have wanted to start a blog. I have no idea why, really. I am not witty, or cute or even somewhat funny. I will not be one of the famous bloggers of the world and that's okay with me. Well, maybe in the back of mind I am hoping for recognition and acceptance, but those are my insecurities and not your issues to solve. So here I am, starting a blog.

I read a spectactular letter on a blog 2 days ago that I have to share. Her letter (it's title and contents) are the real reason I am writing tonight. It's called "Welcome to The Club" by Jess Wilson. You can find her Blog (Diary of a Mom) and that entry here: http://jesswilson.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/welcome-to-the-club . She has shared this letter and her blog all over so I think it's okay for me to sing her praises in my little blog. The letter is so incredibly moving I cried, and I felt a kindred spirit for the first time in a long time. It's difficult these days, looking at the autism world and the autism bloggers because there is such a rift between them. I personally feel, no matter where you stand on what causes autism, we all have a common link and should treat each other with respect. I am just as passionate about my beliefs as the next mom, and I fully intend to share those beliefs here. However, no matter my feelings and my research, autism should bring us together in a fight to protect and care for our children now and throughout their lives. If we continue to funnel money into proving vaccines don't cause autism, we all lose.

So what am I refering to when I say, "welcome to what club?" Well I mean Parents, mothers, people suffering from depression, people who feel the need to reach out to strangers by blogging, and of course parents of kids with special needs. I'm in the mommy club, I am a parent of 3 boys, I have suffered from depression since I was a teen, I am here reaching out to total strangers hoping to find community and understanding and I have twins with autism. That's kind of it in a nutshell. I don't feel I really belong to any group so to speak. I quite honestly have a really difficult time with the mommy club. I'm not really a group kind of person, no matter how much I long to be part of something. I try hard to belong somewhere... but alas I am not easily accepted. Part of it is because I don't really belong with the "normal" mom's because my sons are far from it. The things that bond other mothers don't really apply to me in many aspects. Play dates are difficult due to meeting the needs of my twin boys. I don't know. I guess I can get into this another time. I could write forever about the outsider syndrome I seem to be afflicted with!

So, here I am with no real purpose to be out in the blogosphere- if that's what they call it! I will just write and maybe someone will read and maybe not. It's okay if no one reads this because if I pretend no one reads this, I will be more honest. I don't want to say things to make others happy or comfortable. I am not really known for that.